As an elder care lawyer, I have had the privilege of meeting and assisting countless families and seniors over the years. And over those years, some stand out in the mind…like Marie.
In February 2017, Marie left her home and transitioned to a personal care home. Her husband was in poor health and in a nursing home. She had no children and needed an elder care lawyer to help her navigate these changes. Given her situation, Marie’s close friend scheduled a meeting with myself, Kathleen Magee, our Director of Care Coordination, and Marie to discuss how our team of elder care advocates could be helpful to her. We had an excellent conversation and liked her immediately. She was tough, cantankerous, and argumentative.
Soon after that meeting, Marie designated our office as her agent under her power of attorney. Our work with Marie included Kathleen Magee coordinating personal care and addressing related issues arising at the personal care home. Kathleen arranged for home health aides to further assist Marie, and assured she always had simple things like nightgowns, shampoo, and her favorite chocolates. Our office worked with Marie and her financial advisors to manage her daily finances, assure her taxes and bills were paid, and access resources necessary to pay her care costs. This is, of course, what is expected of an agent under a power of attorney and how I could help as an elder care lawyer with the care and support of our firm.
Over our years together, we spent countless hours with Marie. Chatting in her apartment, sipping coffee in her sitting room, going to lunch for her birthday, and spending time with her during the holidays. She shared with us her thoughts and complaints, her happiness and sadness, particularly surrounding the death of her husband. We often joked with her that many visits ended with her pounding her finger on the table saying, “…and another thing,” followed by a complaint, followed by us promising to address the concern.
During one visit, I showed her a photograph of my daughters, Addison and Brooke. She eyed the photo, made a cursory comment, “..they’re beautiful,” or something similar, and put it on her table. We ended our visit. I had not thought about that moment since.
In late March 2021, Marie was hospitalized. We fielded calls from her care team, advocating for her comfort. Barely a week later she was on hospice. Days later, on April 1, Marie died. We had been a part of her family for over four years.
After her death, our office began organizing her affairs to administrate her estate. One of our team, Manon Adcock, collected several personal items, including the purse Marie carried with her always. During a particularly busy day, Manon came into my office, unzipped the purse, and pulled out the photo of my girls. I was overwhelmed. All these years Marie carried it with her.
As an elder care lawyer, it can be easy to lose sight of the big picture in favor of the issues facing us at any given time. But that one moment slowed me down and reminded me of why, very early in my career, I opted out of litigation and into elder care law. Not because of the law, but because of the advocacy and relationships with our clients.