“Shared Living” is a term that can refer to parents moving in with their adult children. This type of shared living has become more common in recent years for many reasons. Parents may move into their adult children’s homes because of financial or medical reasons, as well as to simply strengthen family bonds. The Covid-19 pandemic has also spurred an increase in shared living as families have been concerned about the high incidence of infections of Covid-19 in nursing homes and other senior living alternatives.

Recently, a friend and his siblings worked together to assist their mother in her move from Florida back to New Jersey, where she and their father raised their family. The couple retired to Florida in 2003 to escape the cold winters and enjoy playing golf together in the sunshine. Unfortunately, the father passed away just two years later. She chose to stay in Florida and remained there until last Christmas.

As my friend and his family began to plan for the move, he and I had several conversations about experiences like his that I have had with our clients. During these conversations I was able to offer guidance, make suggestions, and answer his questions. We discussed the options available for downsizing and moving seniors as well as resources for emotional support for his mother as she made this huge life transition.

Luckily, the move to New Jersey was planned and was not the result of any medical crisis. She has returned to be with her family – her five children, 12 grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. She transitioned into shared living, moving into the home of her daughter, is independent, and has no care needs at this time. I am sure the move was difficult for her, both physically and emotionally. Trading the independence of living alone to be surrounded by her family was bittersweet, but she is a woman of strong faith, which I believe has made all the difference for her.

There was much to be done in preparation for the return to New Jersey. This included downsizing the contents of the Florida home and packing the items that she would be taking. This was accomplished with several trips to Florida on weekends by her children to assist with this sorting and packing. It must have been very difficult to pack up the years of memories and leave the last place she was with her husband.

She and her daughter flew from Fort Myers to Philadelphia on Christmas Eve, and this began the next chapter of her life. While the goal of moving their mom back to New Jersey was reached, there was still much to be done. The Florida home needed to be sold, and the boxes of her belongings needed to be transported to her new home. One of her sons managed this piece of the project. This involved spending a month in the home seeing to the needed repairs and clearing out the items left behind. Fortunately, the home sold quickly and without any issues.

Thanks to having discussions and making plans beforehand made this difficult transition go as smoothly as possible. All too often in my job, I hear the opposite. It has been my experience that when planning does not begin until there is a crisis, it can become messy and complicated. My friend’s family was fortunate. His mom is settled and enjoying her time watching her great-grandchildren grow up. She had a birthday recently, and as a gift, her son gave her a framed drawing of the Florida home as a memento; she was very thankful. Moving at any age can be stressful and I was happy to have been a resource and a source of support to him. If you or someone you know is facing a similar issue with a loved one, please contact our office to see how we can help.

We can offer comprehensive planning that addresses the legal issues, asset protection, and ensuring that our clients continue to have the quality of life they deserve. We work together with the families that we serve to ensure that their loved one’s long-term care planning needs are met appropriately and consistently